My Beloved

Harold my every present guide and leader, decided that for lent he was going to give up bread. When he proclaimed this in our humble office I felt empowered! I was excited by his conviction, forty days no bread, yes YES! "Me too!" I cheered, promising myself to this noble and valiant crusade against bread and all of it devious deliciousness. Down with the scrumptious foe that has slowly added to my pants size year after year! I will show it, I can deal without sandwiches for a month. I shall triumph, and stand proud with my mentor, saying we were strong and did not yield!

Yeah, didn't realize everything I love has bread in it. Chicken Friand, haha no, it has puffed pastry, bread. The cupcakesmy son made me for valentines day, bread. The dry toast smeared with butter yesterday that my boyfriend used to sop up his food during breakfast, BREAD!

It's like I woke up in the matrix, and instead of machines taking over and making us their drones, it's bread! BREAD has taken over the world my gnomes. We're not safe! We looked away and now pastries, burger buns, and dinner rolls are trying to take over our souls! And it's just day two! How on earth will I last 40 days?!

I will fight the good fight, I will stay strong, and when my boyfriend teases me with bread products, eating them in a sultry pace that can only be compared to that of an adult film, I will hold strong! I will punch him in the teeth, and go eat salad! I can do this.